The Kinyodas Gazette - Entertainment

April 19, 2005

Mel Gibson on New Pope: "He's Still Not My Pope"

HOLLYWOOD- Director of The Passion of the Christ, noted Catholic and action film star Mel Gibson reacted to news of a new pope with disdain. Gibson, whose father, Hutton Gibson claims that the Second Vatican Council was a Masonic plot backed by the Jews and that all popes going back to John XXIII have been illegitimate "anti-popes". Gibson continues, "This pope is no different. I mean, he might have been in the Nazi youth, but he's still an anti-pope. He's still not my pope."

Posted by Spicolli' at 04:38 PM | Comments (0)

April 05, 2005

'Removable Nose' Trick Clinches Offer From Michael Jackson

Even after a complete two-day tour of the Neverland ranch including games, toys, candy, rides, and other various activities, little Joey Spano wasn't quite ready to commit to Michael's offer of sodomy and fun. That was until Michael performed his patented 'removable nose' trick. "Man, no one can convincingly make me believe that their nose is REALLY in their hand like my pal Mike does." said Joey, 11 from Santa Monica, Ca., "I was so impressed, my pants pretty much dropped right there on the spot!" After a long night of groping, seduction, and sex, Joey started feeling slightly violated and sad, but Michael pepped him right up with another rendition of his trick by removing his nose and then pulling it from the back of Joey's ear. "Gets me excited every time I see it.", exclaimed little Joey with glee.

Posted by Reese at 08:22 AM | Comments (0)

March 17, 2005

The Donald's Toupee Rumored to Leave in Apprentice 3 Twist

Copyright - Mark Burnett Productions
An artist's rendition of what Donald Trump would look like without his toupee

Rumors are circulating that Donald Trump's longtime toupee will leave him in an upcoming episode of his popular reality television show The Apprentice. "There's always been tension between them," says one source close to the show, "Trump would would say abusive things, 'you think you made me, we both know that I made you!'" However, since the success of "The Apprentice", the Hairpiece has gained a great deal of confidence. "The toupee has taken up Buddhism and seems to be thinking that this is his big break to test out some of the solo project ideas he's had over the years," says another Apprentice insider.

When we requested an interview with the famous coif, we received a statement that reads in part: "I cannot confirm or deny this rumor, however, I've been thinking of testing the waters. With the popularity I've experienced from appearing on the Apprentice I can't rule anything out, maybe trying Bruce Willis or even Vin Diesel!"

The Apprentice airs Thursday nights 8PM CT on NBC.

Posted by Spicolli' at 03:46 PM | Comments (0)