Louisiana Governor Requests 5000 Beavers To Repair Breached New Orleans Levee
By Reese 8:59 PM

Baton Rouge - In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Louisiana Governor Kathleen Babineaux Blanco has issued a request to the National Wildlife Refuge to import 5000 Canadian beavers to help repair the damaged levee breaches in New Orleans along the...Read On.

Gitmo Sports New Golf Course
By Spicolli 3:43 PM

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - The hot sub-tropical sun is not keeping visiting interrogators or investigators from hitting the links at the FBI's controversial new Club X-Ray Golf Course and Country Club. Special Agent Walter Shultz commented, "The experience really brings...Read On.

Local Porn Legend Talks Technology
By Reese 10:46 AM

Bunkie, La. - Fred Pakenham, local pornography expert, former adult entertainer, and owner of "Orifice Depot", the town's only novelty and porn shop, sat down to reminisce about his long career with The Kinyodas Gazette's own Mike Um. "Yup, with...Read On.

Facing Growing Opposition, Blanco Considers a Virtue Tax
By Spicolli' 5:27 PM

BATON ROUGE, LA - Following last weeks announcement of new 'sin' taxes, lobbyists for the gambling, adult entertainment, alcohol and tobacco industries have sprung into action. Mounting pressure from has forced governor Blanco to reconsider alternate revenue plans....Read On.

Mel Gibson on New Pope: "He's Still Not My Pope"
By Spicolli' 4:38 PM

HOLLYWOOD- Director of The Passion of the Christ, noted Catholic and action film star Mel Gibson reacted to news of a new pope with disdain. Gibson, whose father, Hutton Gibson claims that the Second Vatican Council was a Masonic plot...Read On.

Widespread Voter Fraud Suspected in Papal Election
By Spicolli' 4:07 PM

ROME- Today's election of Cardinal John Ratzinger to the papacy, has raised allegations of voter fraud. "For one thing all of the ballots were burned making it impossible for a fair recount," noted former president and election observer Jimmy Carter....Read On.

Bush
Bush sited Louisiana devastation as "worse than 9/11 attacks", then moved to add Hurricane Katrina to the "Axis of Evil" list.

coffins.jpg
Haliburton Unveils New Casket Division

FDowling.jpg
Cancelled! The reprised TV movie "Father Dowling And The Mysterious Stains" will NOT premier this fall.

Saddamm.jpg
Caught with his pants down, an adamant Saddam still insists that he's a boxers man.

sunnyd.jpg
Local street gang calls truce after Mom breaks out the Sunny "D"

bob_enzyte_guy.jpg
Untold side-effect has "Enzyte Bob" scheduling to have smile surgically removed.

Current Terror Alert Level
Terror Alert Level
Brought to you by the letter "W" and the number "3"